final weeks!

We are down to days, my friends...I can't believe May is here and we will be bringing a baby girl home sometime very soon. The last weeks have gone by fast for the most part and I'm sure these next days will too. May is always a bit faster paced month anyways with end of school stuff, graduations, spring weddings, garden planting, yard clean-up...and this year...babies! 

The end of this pregnancy is bitter-sweet. I can't really explain it without feeling like I sound crazy to others...so here's my best shot at my experience within my heart these last few weeks while it's me and her together still. Finding out I was carrying a child this time around had a large mix of emotions for me, but mostly deep, deep gratitude and humility. You see, baby girl came into my life at a time when I was slowly becoming much more aware to God's daily drops of grace in our lives. As I left behind a time period of feeling worn and broken, I was walking into a new place of being comfortable in my skin the way I was and finding joy in the little gifts He places in front of us each day. And then He landed this little lady into my lap, well into my womb really, even after I wasn't sure how he blessed me with 3 children to begin with when I was feeling like I was letting Him down in the mother department. But there this little life was...wonderfully and fearfully made for me to grow just under my heart and within this body that was feeling like it was just starting to function well again. This time of carrying life has been many things...from exhausting and achy and stretchy and tired and beautiful and grace filled and glowing and happy and joyful and nervousness and about anything in between. But one thing that has stayed constant each day is the huge layer of grace I feel to have her with me... My Savior believes in me, even when I don't, and this baby has reminded me for so many days as I feel her move that while we are all broken, we are still beautiful in His eyes and He does great things with broken people...like make perfect baby girls. So I end this pregnancy with a thankful heart for this unexpected gift, so very humbled to have her with me for all these weeks and now getting ready to bring her into this world and do my best to mother her in a way that brings glory to Him. Excited and sad all at the same time... Blessed, blessed be Thy name.

33 weeks

35 weeks

36 weeks

I'm not going to lie. While I have loved carrying this little life in me, it is no secret I also feel tired, big, and old...pregnant in my 20's was a bit easier on my ole body then in my almost mid-30's. I am looking forward to taking full breaths again, sleeping on my back, and bending over without losing all ability to breath at all. Adding a fourth child is a bit intimidating to me too... 4 little people. I love it and it scares me all at the same time!!!

I am so looking forward to summer time though and being home with our new family and adjusting to life as a family of six. The older I get the more of an introvert I realize I am, and when big changes like new babies come along, I tend to scale back on things outside the home and just enjoy and experience the new things happening within my own 4 walls. It has taken me 4 kids to admit out loud that while I love people meeting our new babes...I don't love lots of visitors right away...I hate hurting people's feelings so I never say no, but after 3 kids I have the courage to be real about my need for space after a new baby arrives. So, don't be offended if you don't see me for a bit or don't get an invite to come meet her right away or I don't answer when you call :) ...it's not you at all...it's me (or the craziness of 4 kids that keeps me from socializing for the next 2 years! ha!)! I just need some one on one time with my new babe, some space to help my family transition with the new addition, and some quite to rest and move forward well after a big life change. And I guess by the 4th a gal gets enough courage to be honest about those first few days and weeks!

Baby Girl...we are so very excited to meet you, a bit tired just thinking about no sleep again, and ready to bring out the pink! 38 weeks old this week... baby days are just around the corner!

new best friend

I'm sorry, but have you ever seen a boy more happy about his new best friend? Carson is not yet 2, but he has quickly brought out his love for animals now that he can be outside some more and really find the feathered friends himself in the backyard. I'm not going to lie...sometimes I put him in the chicken run so I don't have to worry about his safety for a few minutes and give my brain a mini-break :) He is contained safely with his favorite little ones...his chickens!

 He has no fear when it comes to getting them and has gotten really good at catching them, safely even :)

 The girls walk around the run area and he just fits right in...

 It takes him about 30 seconds to get one...

 He does this incredibly cute one armed carry and...

 ...tells his chicken thank you (sign language) every time he sets it back down. As in "thank you for letting me hold you...squeeze you...catch you...being my friend"

 I love this chicken loving boy...

and his sweet chicken loving ways!

high flying

The boys always have fun flying kites each spring, but this year their kites have spent more time sitting in their closet then in the fresh spring air. I think we have had one day with decent temps and good winds to help them get their kites off the ground...guess we wait some more for spring...or maybe we just jump to summer at this point?

 Austin is content just running with his most the time!

 Jaxon does pretty well on his own...

 (As you can see, Carson is very helpful :)

Our boys chasing the wind!

outside!

Everyone is excited to be outside...

 ...even the feathered friends!

beginnings

 I'm just beginning to see a little favor-ship between these two as they spend some one on one time together before Baby Girl arrives and while Jaxon is in school. These two have one thing in common for sure... their love for being outside. It's amazing how differently they play outside together verses being cramped inside together. What fun to see the brotherly bond start this spring as the little one lets his big brother lead the way into exploring adventures in his well known back-yard!

Holy Week 2013

Spring break led right into holy week this year. It was nice to have a down week before holy week to prepare our home and our daily activities for the week.  Holy week is my favorite "holiday" time of the year. There are no extra hyped up commitments surrounding it and it can truly be a week of faith building moments, teachable activities pointing to Truth, and a slower celebration week. I love what the end of the week points to and it is a beautiful yearly reminder that through grace, we are truly loved the way we are, broken and beautiful in our Savior's eyes. Deserving or not. It is our gift, everyone's. The boys are old enough to really know what the lessons are about and each year I have to stay on my toes about how I present God's word and promises in a way that connect with where they are in their years. Here's a recap of some of what we did during holy week in our home...

We added a Grace garden this year. Palm Sunday the boys made their garden with high hopes to see what Resurrection Sunday would bring in the form of "new life" and seeing "darkness turn to light". Ended up loving this and we will do it again!

During the week we spend some time together having Bible breakfast and this year made a point to add some of our Bible reading and connecting time during dinner while Dad was home, since Dad leaves early for work most days. Each day we read a different part of the Bible that tells about his last days leading up to what Good Friday represents and then the day He is risen.

Some activities are enjoyed more then others. This year I made the mistake of showing a video before we washed each others feet using the dialogue from the Bible...the actors also dressed in character. These characters took their robes off and washed feet with what appeared to be a towel around their waist. Needless to say...I had two naked little boys washing feet this year. None of our pics rom that event can be properly shown on this blog. Ha! Oh, and one baby boy taken outside by our roomie since he couldn't stop screaming through the video. "Holy" has a whole new meaning when you are trying to find it with three wildy fun boys!!

Good Friday we talked a bit about the darkness in the world and the darkness that came when Jesus died. To remind us during the day of what the day represented we tied black bracelets on each of us. And were able to share a couple times why we wore them that day with others. I think we'll do this again, too.

Austin had an Easter party at preschool and I had a good time seeing him in his class and helping for the morning...his teacher always plans really fun activities for fun days! 

Resurrection Sunday we made our tomb rolls...

Ate marshmallows while we formed them...

And opened the tomb on our garden...inside the boys found the reading for the day and a "new life" symbol. They were pretty excited to learn that 5 caterpillars would be arriving soon for their own butterfly garden to grow in connecting with the new life theme.

And pictures with these three is proving to be harder each year... typical boys here below :)

And an attempt at a family pic... 

I can't believe next year we will have an almost one year old little girl with this crew. I think they are up for the job!

taste of spring

The wind may be cold, but the snow is slowly melting and we are slowly getting into the front yard to get a taste of spring!!

 One of our first days it was warm enough to be outside for a longer period of time...

 The boys were.so.excited!

 I think they each jumped their heart out...

 Our outside loving boy...who also loves snow...actually said he is happy there is no more snow!

 Carson cries when I make him come in, but he is so happy in the fresh air. (I feel a little the same!)

Spring days almost here to stay...as are our outside playing days! Yeah!