gotta drown a bit before you swim

Session two, group four... swim lessons are here again. As Dave and I weave through all the possibilities for a five year old to be involved in we always end up with this experience being a "non-negotiable". We may let our children choose what other activities they participate in down the road, but swim lessons is one thing we think our kids need. It is kind of like a life skill, something to be used forever, and something worth pouring a little bit of moola into. We want our kids to be comfortable swimmers and feel confidant around water. Thus... our third year of swim lessons! Jaxon is doing great and fortunately loves the pool, so even these cool mornings haven't been too much of a fight to get him there. He likes going and is usually pacing the floor ready an hour before we leave!
As I was sitting on the side today entertaining two 1 year olds I was watching Jaxon attempt a new swim form. He is now in the bit deeper water, so I really pay attention as he builds confidence and technique. Some of you know that water frightens me a bit. I LOVE the pool and the ocean and even like a boat ride on a lake every now and then... but inside I am an anxious person whenever I'm around water. Especially unknown waters. I am NOT a good swimmer and I am not confidant that I could save myself or my child if I found myself drowning. Today as Jaxon learned a new thing in the water I watched him struggle a bit and it made me think about life in general for him. I love to see my kids succeed and it's hard to see my kids fail or struggle with things. As I watched I realized that there are many times in my children's lives when I may want to whisk them away from what they are struggling with or just do it for them, to save them the pain or hard times. I started to think back on my own life and I realized that often in my past the times I learned the most, grew the most, or finally figured something out...was after I had struggled immensely. I thought about that as Jaxon bobbed up and down in the water and I forced myself to not walk to the side and pull him from the water. He even gasped for air a bit and I sat and prayed for strength for him. He would get it and if he didn't a trustworthy lifeguard was at his side to help. Kind of like when God throws us a life line when we need it at certain times in our lives. He knows how far we can go before He needs to intervene with His own form of help. As Jaxon's mom, I'm going to need to know when to let him drown a bit in life... to figure it out on his own... and when I need to throw him a life jacket and pull him from the deep waters. I hope I do not react too soon and deplete any lesson in life from happening and yet I hope I don't respond too late and let him drown miserably. Either way... I learned today that as my children grow I will often times have to let them drown a bit, as painful as it is to watch, so that they will find their own strength and ability to master their skills. I pray I can do this quietly and be an encourager as they gasp for air a bit in this lifetime. I am thankful for the "life guards" on duty through out my children's lives and know that sometimes it may not be me who gets to do the saving. I pray for them too... cuz we all need a few "life guards" in our own lives!
Tomorrow we'll do day 8 of swim lessons and chances are.... after today's experience Jaxon won't be bobbing up and down trying to get air like today :) Way to go Jaxon!! Thank you to our great swim instructors and thanks God for strength to learn a new life skill!